Blog
Musings on sexuality, sex education, and all things related.
4 Assumptions You Might Be Making About Your Sex Life
It is hard to talk openly about sex. There are so few examples of open sexual communication, that it is a wonder anyone can do it at all!
Because so many of us communicate so poorly about sex, we are left to rely on assumptions about our partners’ desires based on brief conversations, what we see in mainstream media, and porn.
Take my friend Sarah. For the first 10 years of her marriage, she thought her husband, Eric, was repulsed by anal sex…
Why is it so hard to talk about sex?
There are a lot of things that get in the way of talking about sex. For starters, we live in a pretty sex-negative culture. Yes, compared to the past, we are more sexually free. Yes, sex is everywhere: on billboards, TV, movies, magazines, porn sites, and all over the internet, really! But it is SO RARE to see actual conversations about sex. We don’t learn it in sex education and parents rarely think to talk to kids about how to communicate about good sex.
How to be nonjudgmental when talking about sex
We all have preferences when it comes to sex. There are things that turn us on and there are also things that we might find gross, appalling, or repulsive. We all pass judgment on other people’s behaviour, whether we intend to or not. Judging is just having an opinion about something. It’s part of being human. And, let’s be honest, it’s sometimes very satisfying to judge others.