Blog
Musings on sexuality, sex education, and all things related.
Consent is Both Mandatory and Awesome
Consent for sexual activity has only recently been widely involved in sex education for young people. This is shocking to me, since it is the fundamental foundation on which all sexual activity is built! Consent should be taught by parents and teachers from Day 1.
It is never too early to learn about bodily autonomy for yourself and others!
Exploring Your Sexual Fantasies Without Shame
While understanding or embracing our sexual desires might be a challenge for women in a society that paints our sexuality as needing to be focused around men and their needs (even women who aren’t straight), there are challenges for men and non-binary people as well. Everyone can feel shame or discomfort around their sexual desires based on the messages they received growing up, the messages communicated about sex in their adult life, and their own internal dialogue.
There are different blocks to fully embracing your fantasies. I would say the two most common are lack of awareness of fantasies and fear or shame around the content of the fantasies.
Understanding the Gas and Brake for Your Sexual Arousal
Most of us are aware of the gas pedal: the feelings of being aroused and desiring sex, but the brake pedal may be less obvious. It could just feel like not being interested in sex, or being not into sex in that moment, or blaming ourselves because our body isn’t responding the way we think it should. How easily our body presses the gas or brake varies wildly across different people. Understanding your own levels of excitation (gas) and inhibition (brake) and what activates each one can improve your sex life.
The Most Common Question People Have About Sex: Am I Normal?
Spoiler alert: The answer is probably yes
4 Assumptions You Might Be Making About Your Sex Life
It is hard to talk openly about sex. There are so few examples of open sexual communication, that it is a wonder anyone can do it at all!
Because so many of us communicate so poorly about sex, we are left to rely on assumptions about our partners’ desires based on brief conversations, what we see in mainstream media, and porn.
Take my friend Sarah. For the first 10 years of her marriage, she thought her husband, Eric, was repulsed by anal sex…
Do You Think Men are From Mars and Women are From Venus?
Do you believe Men are From Mars and Women are from Venus?
I was 12 years old when I stumbled across the book Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus by John Gray while visiting my aunt and uncle. I was already curious about sex and relationships, so I picked it up. As a kid I was a voracious and fast reader, so I was able to get through most of it in less than a day.
I hated it.
4 Reasons We Need Masturbation Education
I am a sex educator and sex researcher. I talk about, write about, and think about sex pretty much all of the time. Since I was about 14 years old, I wanted to know everything about sex. In fact, at the age of 15 I thought I did know everything about sex.
As a teen I read the Savage Love column every week! I listened to a sex call-in show on the radio night after night. I read Cosmo every month! I certainly knew a whole lot of facts, and had heard a whole lot of stories. I thought that was the same as knowing all about sex.
Of course, I didn’t know how much I didn’t know….
The Importance of the Clitoris
Knowledge about anatomy and stimulation of the clitoris should be common knowledge, but it isn’t. Learn more about the clitoris in this post!